Dreams... what are they?

I have been meaning to write something about this for awhile, and I hope some people will offer their insight to me. For other MD's or people who have lost someone, have you had dreams of that person? What were they like and what is your opinion of them? I suppose this also leads into a discussion of faith... something I am very undecided about since my mom died. Before she died, I would have sworn there is an afterlife, sworn that everything happens for a reason and that we will get signs from those who have passed once they are no longer with us... but I guess because things have not been like what I would have expected, I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Most people I have talked to, like my brother, have had very similar dreams to me. In the dream, we are aware that our mom is dead, and a little shocked by it. She too is aware of it and then downplays it until we can move forward into wherever that dream may take us. Have you had similar experiences? Do you take these as some type of "visitation" of sorts or do you think they are purely psychological? I remember the first dream of my mom after she died. It was about three weeks later, and it was in the middle of the day. I took a nap and there she was, as clear as day. That one dream was more real then any other dream I have ever experienced in all of my life. In fact, I remember telling myself in my dream that I would have to call Joe (my friend whose mom died a few years ago) to tell him that I was sure there was a heaven. In my dream, we did the whole "um, aren't you dead?" thing. Then we went for a drive and she seemed very happy and laughed, and overall it was great. Since then I have had other dreams of her. Most of time we both can acknowledge her death, occasionally in my dream it was all just a big mistake and she is alive again (but again, always the acknowledgement of what happened). They have not ever felt as "real" as that one dream. Some are clear and some are not. Some make perfect sense and some do not. And I can never predict when they will happen... I want to believe they are something more then mine own psychology playing with me. I mean, if it was that, why can't I dream about her every night? I certainly think about her every day. I would think they would be more often if they were driven by our thoughts. Why do so many people have these types of dreams after someone dies? I have thought about this for over a year now, but was reminded of it again last week when my uncle called me. He called to tell me that he had a dream about my mom that day. He said it was the most realistic and clear dream he has ever had. And it made me wonder.

I would love to hear other people's experiences and thoughts on this topic. I guess I feel the same way about "signs" from her. At first, there were a handful of things I thought must have had something to do with my mom, but I feel as if those are less and less these days. And lastly, the concept of healing. Do we heal from significant deaths in our lives? Surprisingly, I had never even considered it before because I somehow just assumed from the first day that I would forever be living with this pain. I understand that it changes, and it has changed for me... if I think about what life was like this time last year compared to this year, the feeling and the experience of it has changed. Does that mean I am healing or that I am learning how to live with it? I think I am in some ways terrified of the concept of healing. I don't know why... maybe I am afraid of forgetting her. I realize that sounds ridiculous, considering I have had even one day since she died that I have not thought about her. Or maybe I am afraid that she will mean less if I am healed. And if we do heal, how long does that process take and what does it look like when it happens? How do we know?